“No, I don’t understand my husband’s theory of relativity, but I know my husband and I know he can be trusted”.
— Elsa Einstein

Who is the one person that you can turn to, when no one else will listen? Who pulls you back to reality when your emotions sweep you away? Who is the rock that holds you steady when your world is shaken to its core?

For many people, this person could be a best friend, a girl/boy-friend, a child, parent, or a co-worker even. But in my case, it is always my husband, Dustin. We have been together for 10 years and they have been the best years of my life. We have loved, laughed, grown and cried together in ways I could never express fully in words. I realize this sounds sappy or corny but it’s the truth. I thought that when we got married, not a whole lot would change because we already lived together. But in truth, our love deepened because we knew that it was us, together… forever.

I feel like Dustin has been the silent partner in all of my blog entries. The other half of Jack’s being. I don’t tend to write about him because I don’t want to speak for him. He is his own man and if he wanted to share his emotions with people, he would. But I wanted to pay homage to him because without his love and support I would not be sitting here typing these words today.

Dustin is incredibly strong. I often refer to him as the “rock” of his family. Whenever someone has a problem, they come to Dustin for advice or help. He offers comfort with common sense advice and is genuinely one of the best listeners I have ever met. He is compassionate and honest and always sincere in whatever he says to you.

When Dustin talks to me about Jack and his feelings towards his son, I am often left speechless. I feel honored. Not because of what he said, but the emotion of him saying it, breaks my heart. It is incredibly hard to see the one you love in pain. Even as I write this now I realize how hard it must be for him  to watch me go nights without sleeping.

So when people ask me “how is your husband doing?” I often try to reply with what I can surmise he is feeling but it doesn’t always sound right. I just cannot fully express his sadness or other feelings. Much of the time I resort to “he is doing ok”. (It is the same when people ask me how I’m doing. I always wonder, do you really want to know the real answer? or do you want the convenient easy answer? But that’s another blog entry topic for another day…)

I feel extremely fortunate to have Dustin as my husband. He was with me every step of the way for our pregnancy. He was at my side during the c-section and he was with me when we gave Jack back for the last time. He has been with me through everything and I wish I could give him some kind of “Worlds Greatest Husband and Daddy” award. But,  all I can do is write about him and hope that when he reads it, it makes him feel a little bit better about things. I hope that he knows that I love him and as sad as I get, I am not going to go anywhere. I’m here for as long as the world will have me and I will always be here for him.

To wrap up I wanted to offer some advice to all of my family members and friends either newly married or almost there. The good times will be great, and they will fly right by. Enjoy them and savor those times. Because when the dark times come, it is the light of your marriage that will carry you through.

~EH

 

 

 

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