My mom bought us this angel music statue because he looks like our Jack. I think she is right.

Tiny Angels

Tiny Angels rest your wings
sit with me for awhile.
How I long to hold your hand,
And see your tender smile.
Tiny Angel, look at me,
I want this image clear….
That I will forget your precious face
Is my biggest fear.
Tiny Angel can you tell me,
Why you have gone away?
You weren’t here for very long….
Why is it, you couldn’t stay?
Tiny Angel shook his head,
“These things I do not know….
But I do know that you love me,
And that I love you so”.

Author Unknown

Today I wanted to write about the happiest memories I have of Jack, to share with all of you, as my way of honoring him. The doctors told us he would have been born on August 31st, 2010 but he came in his own time, for his own reasons on May 8th, 2010. He left us after giving me my first real mothers day on May 10th. Without him, we would never have known what true love is.

My Memories to Our Sweet Baby Boy:

1. My first month of being pregnant, all I wanted to eat was avocados. You loved them! And demanded that I eat them. You also had me sleeping a lot which I didn’t mind.

2. Getting to find out about you on Christmas Eve! Best Christmas Ever!

3. During the second month of being pregnant he decided he wanted me to eat nothing! And I got sick a lot. That was how I knew our boy would be as picky an eater as his father is.

4. Your first ultrasound, when we saw your little body and heart beating was the most significant moment of my life up to that point. It was then that I knew that we were going to be parents.

5. Being proud of my belly with you growing inside of me. And having your daddy touch it to try to feel you move. You never moved for him, until one day, he finally felt you kick. Best night ever.

6. Finding out you were a boy with your daddy and grandma at the doctors office! Oh the ultrasound tech was funny. She said “And……your baby has a penis”. I could have hugged her. We were so excited to have you Jack. And we knew your name right away. It is actually a combination of your daddy’s favorite Star Gate captains, Jack and Everett. We didn’t realize this until later. 🙂

7. Going to TJ Maxx and to Ikea to buy things for your bedroom. And having your daddy set up your crib. He was so proud he got it all together. And then he bought crib sheets and put them on because he said “it looked better”.

8. Using the heart beat monitor that Robbie and Amanda gave us to find you at night. And playing you music through my belly, making you dance.

9. Going to the doctors and hearing him say “everything looks good”.

10. Meeting you, for the first time in your isolette. Seeing you move your arms and legs around and wearing your wicked cool baby sunglasses. And then later that night, singing “you are my sunshine” to you so you would go to sleep. I remember you moving your tongue around like you were trying to suck. I thought ” that’s my boy, already hungry”.

11. Being reunited with you when we finally got your ashes back from the funeral home. While this is a bittersweet memory, having you home has made all of the difference for us.

 

Thank you for sharing in my memories of our little boy. I hope you will think of him this Tuesday. We will be going to Crosswinds Marsh that day to release balloons in Jack’s honor and then to the beach to write his name in the sand.  While this is a milestone in our journey through grief, it is not the end, and I hope that you will join us for the next chapter of our lives.

Peace~

EH

 

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