“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can
 instill in us”.
-Hal Borland

I wanted to start out this entry by thanking everyone. Not only for being here for us during the holiday season, but for being here for us throughout the entire year. (For those who sent Jack cards and letters, they were really lovely, thank you). Not only has everyone been here for us since the moment we found out we were pregnant, but you stood by us as our world fell apart. And then, when we set out to bring good and healing to others in our situation, you helped us get our project going. Truly, we could not ask for better family and friends.

While part of me wants to be desperately sad because we aren’t celebrating this evening with our baby boy. Most of me is just incredibly thankful. That may sound odd, but hear me out.

Yes, 2010 was probably the most challenging year of our lives but it was also the year that I learned what it means to love a child and to love my husband as the father of my children. I also learned what it means to be patient, kind, and compassionate for others, because you don’t know where their shoes have taken them. And so I am thankful for 2010, for allowing me to grow in ways that were painful but also beautiful. Our family may not be the ideal or “norm” but I am happy to say I have a son and husband whom I love and cherish.

I am also thankful that we have been able to yet again conceive a new life, and that this life has brought some hope back into our lives. Slowly, I feel like we are regaining our balance and that we will be ok.

I know so many people have suffered so much this year, from my fellow baby loss friends, to just the world in general. People have lost loved ones, homes, jobs, friends. It’s easy to see how people can be worn down and stressed out.  I can only hope that 2011 holds better things for us all.

And so happy new year to you and yours. May 2011 bring you all of the things you deserve and all of the happiness in the world.