“What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”
-Helen Keller

Finally, after many long weeks we have reached the second trimester. The so-called “honeymoon” phase of pregnancy. While I am relieved to have made it to this point, I still do not tread lightly. I know first hand that just because you make it to the second trimester, it does not mean you will get to take your baby home. And unfortunately, after talking to many other women, I have come to realize that all too often, women don’t get to experience the third stage of pregnancy.

It is this knowledge that makes things so different this time around. I am no longer blissfully unaware of the risks and potentialities that exist with pregnancy. If anything, I am super aware of just how wrong things can go. And to be quite honest, it doesn’t just suck a little, it sucks A LOT to endure this kind of anxiety along with your normal pregnancy symptoms. Because now, every little thing that happens is critically analyzed by not only myself and my husband, but my whole family because we are all afraid of something being wrong.

When you are high-risk, everything changes. There is no fun, let’s go window shopping for baby clothes, or let’s plan a baby shower. It’s all about, IF we make it to THIS point, then MAYBE we will consider buying something. It’s all about avoiding as much pain as possible, because you remember what it was like to have to box it all up and put it away….  

Anyways, enough getting feelings off the old chest, I wanted to share our most recent Tater-tot update.

This week we hit the 14 week mark and the baby is supposed to be the size of a lemon. Tater-tot is a bit bigger so I’m gonna go with “large orange” for a description here. We visited the high-risk OB today and he did an ultrasound and was very pleased with how my placenta and cervix looked along with the fluid levels around the baby. He said the baby looked like it was doing very well and it is sitting high in my abdomen which he said was good. I have been experiencing some ::ahem:: “downstairs” pain which he attributed to too much pressure on my cervix and cerclage. Which basically means, get up and sit down SLOWLY and be careful getting out of bed. I also have an infection which I got meds for today and he recommends I start taking a probiotic. The name is really long and ugly for the probiotic and when I get it I will spell it out for you all.  🙂

In other news, depending on how things go, I may get to go on modified bedrest! That means I will be able to walk to a chair, the couch or the bed and to the bathroom. I can also make a snack or drink. But I can’t stand for any longer than 10-15 mins or so. So keep your fingers crossed that my cervix stays closed and we get to do modified bed rest!

My next appointment is next Monday, Jan. 31st with my regular OB. Hopefully after that visit we will get to schedule the “big” ultrasound in which they determine the baby’s sex.

Well that’s all for tonight. Thanks for reading, as always!