“No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head”. 
~Terry Josephson

I often wonder if other parents who have lost a child or children, find themselves reflecting on their loss at a certain time of day or in a certain place.  For me, I think about Jack a lot when I’m driving (maybe not the car in the picture above, but one day that will be the car I’m driving!). I often find myself listening to my music and connecting the song with him or with my anger over his loss. Or I will just plain wonder what he would look like right now, what he would be doing. Sometimes I try hard to remember his face and to remember how he felt in my arms. There is just something so therapeutic about driving, that I am able to let my walls down and just think only about him. (One could argue I’m not paying enough attention to driving, to that I would answer, yes you are probably right).

I suppose this sort of thing applies to anyone who has lost someone special in their life, do you think about someone you miss and love during a certain time? Is there something that you do or a place that you go where you allow yourself the space and time to just think? To remember?

It’s interesting how we  build “normal” walls around ourselves to make the pain of our loss more endurable, to simply get us through the day. And how simple things, like a valentine in the mail, can sneak through the walls hairline cracks and just make the whole thing fall down. Then you have to spend hours and days collecting all of your bricks, to just build the wall back up again. But in my safe place, in my car, I can walk around my wall and just be…..without it having to fall down.  And when I park and turn off the engine, I can slip back behind those bricks and head into the world protected.

~EH

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