Today we are officially 23 weeks and 5 days pregnant with our second baby boy, Owen. For those of you who read often, you know that at this time in our last pregnancy, we were already giving birth to Jack at this point. He was a tiny miracle and never in my life did I ever expect to have the opportunity to hold such a tiny, beautiful being. This date has been bittersweet. Next month will be Jack’s first birthday and angelversary and I think that adds to the bittersweet nature of today. You can’t help to wonder, why? Why didn’t Jack get to be carried further along? And then you feel guilty for thinking that, and I revert to just being extremely thankful I’ve kept Owen in this long. So definitely a mixed bag of emotions today.

In thinking about all of this, I have made a decision regarding my blog postings. I have decided to have a blog created specifically for pregnancy after loss and I plan to keep this blog, just for Jack. I know many people read this blog because they relate to our experience of loss and I know that my postings about being pregnant again can be a real trigger for people. I am hoping that by separating things a bit, I can avoid hurting others who are simply looking for some guidance or help. I remember finding blogs when I was new to our loss, and thinking, “How can these people be pregnant again?” and of course I read no further. At any rate, the blog design will be taking place throughout April so please bear with me for a little while longer in terms of my rainbow baby postings. I plan to launch a new layout for this blog, in May, for Jack’s first birthday.

Here’s to hoping we make it to 25 weeks ❤

~EH

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