Today, I was watching a movie while taking care of Owen, not really paying too much attention to it. When for whatever reason, I heard a line from one of the characters that really struck a chord with me. The woman in the movie was talking about how she had just bought a house and had no one to fill it. No husband, no children, basically she was alone. The man she was speaking to told her this:
” Once upon a time, this town did not have a railway. There were no trains. Years ago however, the mayor decided to lay tracks down, because you know what? He knew that one day, the train would come”.
I felt like wow, this really describes the past year for us. After we lost Jack, it felt like life was so empty and no matter what we did, it would never feel full again. And we knew that we should spend time, getting ourselves together emotionally and financially before we decided to try again. When we did decide we were strong enough for trying again, it was very much like laying the track before we knew whether or not there would be a train. We had no idea how long it would take or if it would ever happen. We just knew we wanted to at least try. Especially since having kids doesn’t get any easier as we age. Fortunately, we were lucky enough that our train did make it to our tracks. And he is so wonderful. He looks a lot like Jack, especially when he is asleep. I guess my point is, for those of you who might read this post and have lost or suffer from infertility. There is hope. Keep laying your tracks, keep putting down the rails, because one day your train will find you.